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As I drove on the interstate on the way to work today, I saw the flashing billboard with the following words:
If they don’t live with you, zoom for Thanksgiving
I felt my eyes stinging with tears.
What about a second option?
What about the family members who you haven’t seen for 6 months? What about your first born son who was the hero & leader of the family who’s now lost in the world of addiction?
In fact, that son may not even be alive today. I haven’t talked to him in 2 days & at that time he was so scared that he would be picked up again for supporting his habit, that he just wanted to run away.
Yes, that one habit that ‘other people’ say- “if he really wanted to quit he could.” True of anything right? If I really wanted to be svelte & toned and dare I say ‘skinny’; I could just do it right?
We all know it’s just not that easy. Not impossible, just not as simple as it sounds.
It’s kindof strange that my son is scared of getting caught doing what his brain tells him he MUST DO! Imagine a smoker getting arrested for buying ciggerettes…..
Imagine the daily guilt and shame and sneaking and lying just to get a drink of water to us…. A needed glass of water….
Not the same? Read my article on cravings found Here. It’s a pretty simple explanation as to what an addict goes through.
Anyway, back to water and ciggerettes and me being skinny. They’re all cravings & desires aren’t they?
OF course, that’s a Matter OF OPINION. As is EVERYTHING these days.
Opinions don’t equal facts. No matter how you spin it because today’s facts can be twisted.
I dread Thanksgiving & Christmas this year. Not because of Covid, but because of my fractured family. Disappointmeant, unspoken & spoken expectations. My inability to fix everyone’s concerns. My inability to move mountains to create stronger bonds…..
My son, 4 hours away, whom I can’t zoom with on Thanksgiving; even if I wanted to see his 100 lb weight loss ravaged body- because he has isolated himself away from his family and his life as he knew it for 32 years.
“Just QUIT!!!!”
I want to scream! “There’s help available! You have 2 little kids who need to know their daddy loves them!!!”
But with addiction it’s just not that easy. Their brain is hijacked into believing whatever the drug tells them. It’s always just one more time. It whispers loudly “it’s not that bad. you have all the time in the world.”
Meanwhile, 1 year turns into 2, and soon we will be heading into year 3 of this nightmare.
Before that, this son had built his dream business from nothing-along with his brothers and dad.
A high school drop-out in his senior year because of a credit miscalculation, yet worked his butt off from age 16 to 32. Nights, weekends- 70 hrs a week or more.
Married, 2 precious kids. Built a beautiful hand crafted home in a red rock mecca paradise.
He brought his brothers and Dad along with him. They were unstoppable.
Custom & commercial cement. Powerline fabrication,an excavating business & a freaking business for awhile.
In 2015 he did $500,000 in labor alone with zero investors which is unheard of in this business..
His closest competitors were multimillionaire companies…
His Gross revenue in 2014 was 70k. He set a goal to double it…
He reached 1 million the next year..set aset a goal to double it..reached 3,million in 2017..
All without a secretary and an office until the last year.
And then the opiod crisis hit him.
This last 2 year he has lost everything.
I wrote THIS article as we were preparing for his intervention and first rehab. I was so angry at the political climate at that time- imagine!
The seemingly waste of money, when my family & many others were DYING !!
Politics aside though….
Haaa!
Although it seems impossible these days to avoid a political conversation and/or have respect for someone who supports a certain group or cause; it can be done!
Groups, meetings, friends and families CAN get along without spurring a argument, IF they can focus on what they DO agree on.
It takes effort for sure.
But if we can find common ground and unite together in a cause where we can actually make a difference, I think we can help the downtrodden, the mentally ill, the families and lives thrown into addiction.
The haunting song: To Save a Life – by The Frey is one of my favorite songs of all time. It hits home now.
I just hope and pray every day that my son’s life is saved…by the grace of God or anything for that matter. I’ll take anything…….
Originally published at Samantha-waters.com
http://samantha-waters.com/2020/11/19/%e1%97%b0%e1%97%a9tte%e1%96%87%e1%94%95-%e1%97%af%e1%95%bc%e1%97%a9t/
