New Years, New Hope
We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun. ☀️But now winter is here & it’s that Cold time of year
Goodbye 2023
It’s been real
But not real fun
You did teach me some valuable things:
That I can celebrate small joys even when I feel incredible pain, disappointment and sadness inside.
That I am capable of deeper love and forgiveness than I thought.
That others opinions of me don’t prove my worth
In fact — most opinions are so greatly skewed by our experience and by our pain, that they don’t represent what is happening in real time. For example, yesterday my husband and I were going through a storage unit and were listing things for sale. I looked up some end tables to find out they were worth almost $300. I said,
“Why haven’t we been using these?”
“Because I thought you hated them.”
“Why would you think that? I’ve never even seen them.“
“I just thought they must not have been good enough for you.”
Heavens. So much conjecture. He had moved these item from his storage shed to one closer to us after we had married- his third marriage, my second. Most of the item were from his previous marriages so there really was no reason for me to go through them as I had my own household items. Whatever he was keeping must be for sentimental value — who was I to question that? But that may be my own projection.
But back to my list:
Planting consistent seeds of hope and emotional support can turn into trees of pure gold. And if they don’t, then at least I offered my part of spreading good vibes into the universe.
I also learned that no matter what you witness in others or from others such as rudeness, shaming, shunning, or complete indifference; it is a reflection of the lack of love and acceptance they have experienced in their life and you are just the current easiest target.
In 2023 I experienced some of my darkest moments. Moments that made me question my purpose and my existence. I was ravaged with thoughts of death and the adversary’s favorite words:
“Why try?”
2023 taught me that trying is as much a part of life as eating or drinking. You have to continually do it or face annihilation.
A recent family situation made me see that there are people who have their limits of trying. They committed to doing just so many things for someone and when the results were not shown in their time limit, they ceased all contact. This caused incredible pain to the person because even they themselves didn’t understand why they couldn’t achieve lasting results in their goals and life.
Human behavior has always been the biggest mystery of the universe and when you add in substance use, mental illness, and the destructive personality types of narcissism and controlling vindictiveness; the perfect storm of vitriol and spite will most likely destroy relationships.
After almost being crushed by these actions I’m 2023, I am determined to do the thing.
The thing of New Years Resolutions:
I WILL COMMIT TO TRYING HARDER, LOVING DEEPER AND SINGING LOUDER. I WILL WRITE MORE AND PUBLISH MY BOOK! COOK BETTER MEALS, AND DANCE MORE.
To the New Year: Let’s be friends
Let’s have new adventures and breakthroughs often, and let’s join in spreading kindness not hate.
Let’s believe people when they show you how deep their pain~ then show THEM how deeply love heals💘🖤💘🖤💘
Most of all 2024: can you please be my friend this time. Hold the despair, sadness and strife. I want joy on the rocks!
